10 Golden Rules to Online Dating

10 Golden Rules to Online Dating

As everyone knows, today’s favorite method of mating and dating for singletons the world over is to join an online dating site. But what most people don’t realize is that only around 10% of dating site members actually meet a long-term partner on their chosen site and a whopping 70% don’t even receive one message from another member. If you follow the 10 simple steps outlined below, you too can join the 1 in 5 relationships that start online.

1. Choose the right site. The acceptance of online dating has provided a smorgasbord of choice for love seekers but you should take a few moments to decide on the type of partner you’re looking for, not to mention the town or city where you would prefer him/her to be located. There are niche sites which cater to all sectors (single parents, rockers, gay people etc) and general sites which welcome all comers just as there are city or country specific sites and sites with a global perspective. Choosing the right site that fits your personality is probably the most important decision you’ll make when looking for a partner on line.

2. Choose a ROCKIN” username. First impressions always last and the on line identity which you give yourself is the first thing that other members will see before they check-out your profile. ‘Funny’ works, ‘cryptic’ works and you won’t go far wrong even if you decide to use your own Christian name. However, if you go down the trashy or sexually suggestive route (which a lot of guys seem to do), think of what personalities you will be attracting. Remember, it is human nature to judge a book by it’s cover!

3. Upload a photo. This is crucial as a significant percentage of people only search for members who have bothered to include a picture, including me. I am certain that you want to see what other members look like so it stands to reason that other people will feel the same way about you. If the only photo you have isn’t particularly flattering, you can always mention that in your profile – it’s still better than no photo at all.

4. Complete your profile. There’s nothing more off-putting than a profile which screams “I am not taking this seriously”. If you don’t have time to complete all the categories when you are signing-up, then make the time to do so at the earliest opportunity.

5. Be upbeat and positive. If you’re feeling a little down or lacking in confidence, now isn’t the time to say so when you’re writing a description of yourself. If you come across as confident, happy and full of fun, you’ll get much more attention than if you come across as mono-syllabic or down in the dumps. And remember, humour is a real ice-breaker and a great aphrodisiac.

6. Widen your search criteria. If you generally go for people who have blonde hair, blue eyes and are between 5’4″ and 5’6″ and you narrow your search down to just these specifics, then you may be missing out on a great many other members who you’ll also find just as attractive. To start with, just search by gender, age and location and that way you’ll be giving yourself and other a fair opportunity.

7. Don’t automatically dismiss people. If you receive a message from someone who’s profile you like but who hasn't bothered to include a photo, you should still write back and ask them to attach a photo in their dating site email or give you access to their private photos. You’ll find that many people are more willing to do this than post a picture for all and sundry to look at. However, stay safe and don’t give up personal contact details until you are ready.

8. Use all the features of the site. Many sites provide a great deal more than just an internal emailing system. Some sites might include flirts, winks, match suggestions, etc. Take advantage of everything that’s available to you to increase the chance that you have of making contact with someone special.

9. Be proactive. Once you've registered and completed your profile, don’t wait for others to make contact with you. When you spot someone who you think might be a good fit with yourself, write to them and introduce yourself. And don’t just say ‘Hi, I like your profile’, tell them why you've written to them and point out the things that you believe you have in common. A long opening message will create a much better impression than a short, perfunctory one.

10. Check back with the site. Most dating sites have new people joining all the time so remember to log-in at least once every day to view the most recent members and you can then contact anyone you like the look of before others get the chance to do so. Also, you should remember that on most sites, the members who log-in the most appear higher up the search listings than those who don’t so your profile will be easier to spot by people with whom you might be compatible.

So there you have it – successful online dating is not rocket science; it just takes a bit of thought and a bit of effort and if you adhere to the 10 rules that I have outlined above, then your personal life will soon receive the kick-start it deserves.

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3 Steps to a Healthier Dating Life

3 Steps to a Healthier Dating Life

Stepping out on the dating field can stir a range of emotions, from exhilaration to anxiety, and every emotion in between. One effective way for dealing with whatever feelings come up is to feel great about yourself…both emotionally and physically. Here are three steps to help you put your best foot forward, feel confident and achieve optimal health.

1. Be active.

Exercise not only helps you look good, it increases your energy, strengthens your immune system and according to studies, helps you cope better with stress and anxiety. Exercise is a win-win situation for your looks and your self esteem. Find activities that you love doing — sticking to an exercise regime you don’t enjoy is tough and typically unsuccessful. All activities that get your heart rate up and push your muscles are benefiting you. Talk to a fitness coach to identify the best routine for your lifestyle, interests and goals and at a minimum, live actively, get outdoors more and move that amazing body.

2. Give your body what it needs.

Nutrient-dense, whole foods provide your body with the vitamins, minerals, healthy fats (yes, you do need some fats), fiber and anti-oxidants (these protect against cell damage and lower cancer risk) to keep your bodily systems in top shape. Proper nutrition is a must for healthy-looking hair and skin, stable moods, maintaining a healthy weight and feeling energetic. Following a diet that contains plenty of vegetables and fruits, whole grains (whole wheat products, brown rice, quinoa, oats), low-fat calcium foods, legumes, nuts/seeds and lean protein sources like fish, chicken and turkey will give you the nutrition you need to stay vital. Dedicating 80-90% of your diet to these excellent foods allows you to cope better with the other 10-20% processed or “treat” foods. It is important to mention that long term use of high-sugar foods (pastries, sweets, white breads (white flour goes into your bloodstream almost as fast as straight sugar) can increase moodiness, fat storage and your risk of diabetes, so keep these to a minimum.

3. Be kind to yourself.

Love who you are today and accept your imperfections. There is nothing more attractive than meeting someone who is confident and comfortable in their skin. Dating can come with feelings of disappointment and rejection. Take these in stride by reminding yourself that the right person for you is the BEST person for you. Learn from relationships that don’t work out (there is always room for emotional maturing), then move forward so you can find someone who loves you for who you are right now.

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Travel can improve couples’ sex life, survey says

A new survey by the U.S. Travel Association has found that couples who travel together have better relationships — and better sex — than those who don’t.

(Photo: Creatas via Getty Images)

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• Couples who travel together tend to have more lasting relationships, survey says
• Travel can lead to sense of closeness, analysts say
• Countervailing view: It can blow up a relationship

This Valentine’s Day, you may want to consider taking your significant other on a trip rather than buying flowers.

A new survey out today by the U.S. Travel Association has found that couples who travel together have better relationships — and better sex — than those who don’t.

Nearly two-thirds of couples surveyed say a weekend getaway is more likely to spark romance in their relationship than a gift. Of the 1,100 U.S. adults surveyed, 72% think traveling inspires romance.

More than three-quarters, or 77%, of those who travel as a couple say they have a good sex life, compared with 63% of couples who don’t travel together. And 28% of the couples say their sex life actually improved after traveling together. Of those couples, 40% say the improvement was permanent.

“When you’re away all of a sudden the e-mails don’t happen, neighbors don’t knock on the door, and the dog doesn’t have to be walked, and you get to spend more time together,” says Roger Dow, president of the U.S. Travel Association.

Even some frequent business travelers who take their spouses on work trips say it has a positive impact on their relationships.

“People don’t realize that being a frequent flier (and) road warrior is a very lonely life,” says Tamara Hall, a consultant in Bozeman, Mont. “When we travel together, it cuts the work and stress in half.”

The survey, conducted from Nov. 26 to Dec. 9, also indicates that traveling together promotes longevity in the relationship.

Of those couples who travel together, 84% made it past the five-year mark in their relationship. Of those who don’t, 76% had made it past five years.

Sarah Rodgers, senior research analyst at Edge Research, which conducted the survey, says couples who traveled together alone, rather than with friends or other couples, are more likely to feel closer and communicate better after a trip. Traveling allowed them to “talk and reconnect and also to share new experiences,” she says.

But not all couples travel well together, says Joshua Klapow, a clinical psychologist at the University of Alabama at Birmingham.

“Just traveling together in and of itself is not going to make you a better couple, but learning how to travel together successfully is,” he says. “Traveling together puts a couple in an extended period of being together more than their average interactions. That extended period can either enhance a relationship, or it can blow up in their faces.”

For Allen Crockett, a frequent business traveler from Clayton, N.C., a recent weekend trip to Philadelphia with his wife kept them from breaking up.

“It reminded us of the reasons we fell in love, got married and decided to have a family,” he says. “I moved back in, and we’re celebrating our 18th anniversary in a few weeks.”

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