Joshua Pompey is an online dating expert and author of three online dating guides for men where he has provided help with online dating
Let’s face it, most of us would love nothing more than to get out of the dating game and be in happy relationships. But as the old cliché goes, others can’t love us, if we don’t first learn to love ourselves. Having a high sense of self worth and confidence is all but critical towards having a successful online dating life in the New Year.
So this New Year, before we start going on date after date and making the same mistakes as the previous year, let’s make it a resolution to get that confidence in order, and take a look at five confidence building techniques that we can start putting into effect immediately:
1. Hit the gym.
Forget the physical benefits that going to the gym will provide. The mental benefits are even more important. Going to the gym will provide a sense of accomplishment, will release feel-good endorphins, and overall, will put you in a much better state of mind. To top it all off, you will look better. I’d say those are more than enough reasons to get to the gym for a quick forty-five minutes a day.
2. Head to the salon.
It’s time to cut those locks and freshen up that hairstyle. Too many men and women walk through life with the same hair cut year after year, failing to keep up with the latest trends. A fresh haircut can make a tremendous difference in how you look, and most importantly, will have you feeling like a brand new person.
3. Hit the mall.
It’s time to move on to the wardrobe. Throw away those outdated clothes and head to the mall for the latest styles. What you wear sends a ton of signals to others about who you are, and has a large effect on how people will perceive you. If you are not sure what to wear, try asking trusted friends, an employee of the store, or thumbing through some popular magazines. You’d be surprised about how different and confident you will feel when putting on some stylish new clothes that are tailor made to flatter your body.
4. Talk to five random strangers a day.
So many people that sign up for online dating are extremely engaging over the computer, than freeze up in real life. Being interesting online is useless if you can’t be just as engaging when face to face with your dates. They will only be disappointed at how much more interesting you were over the Internet. The best way to improve your confidence when meeting in person is by getting used to talking to people every day. Try talking to five random strangers a day. Say anything.. It could be something as simple as asking another person what time it is or for some quick directions. The point is, the more you talk to random strangers, the more you will realize that people aren’t nearly as scary as you think they are, and the more your confidence will grow when in new social situations.
5. Become a well-rounded person.
Perhaps the best way to improve confidence is by actually becoming great. Being a more interesting person will have you feeling great about yourself. Read more books. Take up new hobbies. Travel to those destinations you have always wanted to go to. The more you improve yourself, the more your self-confidence will feel real and validated.
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